you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
