I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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