apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
