my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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