Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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