okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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