I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize