Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
