Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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