And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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