he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize