We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
