return my video game
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
