Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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