it hurts more in the daytime
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
