So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
