We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
