we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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