I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
