And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
