i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
honey bunches of taint.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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