you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
