using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
