ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
