very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
