My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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