Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
