You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
