it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
