i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize