I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
