Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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