I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
