Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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