Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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