I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
