If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You smell like stripper and shame
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
