come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
