Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I lost the right to judge tonight
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
