New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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