I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
