thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Text me some of your sweat
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