Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
