Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
