I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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