Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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