If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
