Who did Billy Mays play for?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
this hospital has no fireball
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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