She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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