That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
