party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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