Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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