Your face is a jimmy john
Apparently you make a good broom.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
