I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
