this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
