I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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