It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
