I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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