The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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