It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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