like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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