Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
